Ayman Al-Zawahiri: My part in Al-Qaeda's downfall
We notice, with a certain amount of interest, that they've named Ayman Al-Zawahiri as new Al-Qaeda chief after the death of my Arsenal chum and murdering bastard Osama Bin Laden.
And guess what he's promising? If your answer is "More Jihad, and less Rick-rolling," give yourself a pat on the back and take the rest of the day off.When you're in the business of international Jihad, that's the road you want to go down in the all-too-brief moments before the US drone aircraft wipes you off the face of North Waziristan.
Congratulations, dude, on getting through the interview, and well-played for tipping the scales with your side-splitting Lord Sugar impression. I've been to job interviews in the past, but these guys were harsh:
"Can you tell us of a time you tried to pursue the cause of international jihad, but it didn't go as planned? How would you have done it better?"
"Can you tell us of a time when you've illustrated the core values of the business in a fully-inclusive, customer-focused manner? What was the outcome?"
"Give us an example of a time when you have successfully collaborated with another department or organisation. What were the challenges you faced?"
"What's your favourite colour?"
Sad to say, they passed me over for the top job, and I think I know where I went wrong:
"How would you raise the profile of the Al-Qaeda Organisation in an increasingly diverse and fast-moving marketplace?"
"I'd campaign for the setting up of a national radio station playing 1950s Doo-Wop"
Crap. I get the only interview board comprising 1950s skiffle fans.