He runs.Head down, he runs up and down the aisles of the supermarket.
Own-brand Rola-Cola courisng through his veins, Manchester United shirt on his back, seven years of age and he has never felt so alive.
He's a racing car.
A rocket ship.
No, he's a jet fighter.
NEEEEEOOOOWWWWWWW!
"Cornelius, watch where you're..."
Head first, right into my nuts.
My first, entirely natural reaction: "Oo-yagh!"
And my second, as I find myself bent double over the frozen pizzas, questioning the very meaning of life: "What kind of name is Cornelius?"
Sight returning to my eyes, I see the words that make everything better.
"Deep Pan Frozen Pizza. Buy One, Get One Free"
WINNING
9 comments:
Surely she sent her oddly named child into you deliberately. Please tell us you didn't take advantage of the situation? Or was this Iceland again where every day is singles' day?
Named after a character from Planet of the Apes.
exactly the same thing happened to me - only the kid was called Zeus
The vision of you bent over a freezer full of frozen pizza cluctching your nuts is not one I would wish to conjure up
I am firmly of the op!on that small children should, like cocker spaniels and bicycles, be left tied up outside horriblemarkets. This is because I am a curmudgeonly old gronk.
@TRT: Hilarious! Now I wish I knew someone named Cornelious just so I could use your line. Oh geez, that is still making me laugh.
That is the most lame excuse to buy two frozen pizzas that I have ever heard of. Still, I suppose it gives you a little story behind your shopping spree.
I cracked up laughing and doubled Cornelius' pocket money.
What did you shout at the kid......
"TAKE YOUR STINKING PAWS OFF ME YOU DAMN DIRTY APE!!!"
.....by any chance?
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