Wednesday, June 08, 2011

MAY CONTAIN TRACES OF NUTS

MAY CONTAIN TRACES OF NUTS


I've been told my idiot letters of complaint are far too verbose. Straight to the point, then:

Dear Aldi,

Your so-called "Extra Large" peanuts appear to be the same size as normal peanuts. Explain yourselves, you curs, as to why they are not the size of a giraffe.

And no, "Wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey" does not a good explanation make.

Your pal,

Albert O'Balsam
Actually, now I come to mention it, they get bigger the further you go down the packet...

Dear Aldi,

As you were.

Your newest best pal,

Albert O'Balsam
Crap. That's two stamps wasted.

4 comments:

TRT said...

Posting pictures of your extra large salty nuts on the interwebs now are you?

Alex C said...

Wotcher Scaryduck
It occurred to me that there hasn't been one of your ranking lists in a while.

I was tying to work out what the internet's strongest form of damnation is, having just sent an unsubscribe email with the sole text being 'FFS'.

My colleague thinks 'Die in a Fire' is stronger, and I thought what we really need at this point is a cut-out'nkeep Scaryduck Special all time grading system for internet damnations.

Any chance you could provide?
Ta muchly
Alex

Debster said...

Turd.

Anonymous said...

oh no it don't. Not if its peach cobbler.