Rear of the Year
Today, we are mostly offering our world-weary congratulations to TV's Carol Vorderman for her recent triumph in the 2011 Rear of the Year competition, heading off the Pippa Middleton bandwagon with MATHS, SCIENCE and a PEACHY BOTTOM.
People are already asking me a question about this annual tasteful competition - judges giving marks for style, control, damage and aggression based on the Scaryduckworth-Lewis scale - that is in no way sexist and stuck back in the seventies along with the likes of Bernard Manning.
And the question is this:
"How do you enter Rear of the Year?"
The answer is simple: "Ask very nicely."
I thank you.