On accidental nudity
You know that scene in Life of Brian where he throws open the shutters in the morning and he's completely naked?
Yeah, that one.
Three workmen in car park.
They were still there when I left for work. Looks were exchanged.
Postscript: There is a knock at the door. It is a member of Her Majesty's Thames Valley Police.
He has not come to see me about my pecker. In fact, had I seen three people pretending to be council workmen who were stealing all the brass fittings from all the external doors in our flats? And would I be prepared to make a statement?
Me: All coppers are bast... Why, yes. Yes I would.
Good grief - where to start?