Monday, June 06, 2011

On accidental nudity

On accidental nudity

You know that scene in Life of Brian where he throws open the shutters in the morning and he's completely naked?

Yeah, that one.

Me.

Bedroom curtains.

Morning glory.

Three workmen in car park.

Awkward.

They were still there when I left for work. Looks were exchanged.

Postscript: There is a knock at the door. It is a member of Her Majesty's Thames Valley Police.

Me: Ah.

Him: What?

He has not come to see me about my pecker. In fact, had I seen three people pretending to be council workmen who were stealing all the brass fittings from all the external doors in our flats? And would I be prepared to make a statement?

Me: All coppers are bast... Why, yes. Yes I would.

Good grief - where to start?

13 comments:

Vicus Scurra said...

Thank heavens you were not insensitive enough to say "Yes, constable, they pinched my knob".

Pseudonymph said...

Morning woodn't, then?

Amanda Huggenkiss said...

Oooh, that reminds me - I have to get some button mushrooms from the grocer ...

The PhD Pimpernel said...

They got more knobs than they bargained for this morning then!

Richard said...

Pretending to work for the council should have given it away straight away on account of councils not having any money. Sorry, all the knob jokes were done so I did politics.

TRT said...

You're in a council flat, then?

Debster said...

POIDH.

Donna said...

So......

Just how long did you stand in the window then?

Alistair Coleman said...

TRT: Privately-owned flat in a block that has *some* council residents.

As they say on Facebook: It's complicated.

isolator42 said...

Lots of thieving about for scrap. Outside where I work, a truck turned up & two guys got out in flourescent jackets carrying tools & an angle-grinder. They proceeded to remove a long section of railings on the junction of the Harrow Road & North Circular, put them on the back of the truck & drove off. All this in broad daylight. No one has a clue who they were...

WrathofDawn said...

Stealing fittings whilst eyeing up your knob? The brass!

Anonymous said...

now I TOLE YA AND I TOLE ya time and again, Mr ScaryDuck you are not to face the world naked @all.

signed your wife, eversosweetsmelling andall.

Mrs. ScaryDuck.

www.cocinas.tv said...

I think everyone must read this.