Tuesday, June 21, 2011


He's The Thin White Duke. He's the chameleon of pop music. He's a geezer from South London who inspired dozens of artists from New Romantics to Lady Gaga. But let's not hold that against him, and let's celebrate the genius that is DAVID BOWIE:

1. David Bowie suffers from a permanently dilated pupil that gives the impression that his eyes are different colours. He suffers the same with his testicles, one of which is moving away from his body at a velocity approaching the speed of light and appears to the observer to be redder than its blue companion

2. Despite huge success in the guise of his alter egos Ziggy Stardust and Aladdin Sane, he was less than successful with a third: Nick Clegg

3. Bowie's number one hit "Under Pressure", a collaboration with rock royalty Queen started life as "Under a Tenner", intended as the music for a TV commercial for the KFC Family Feast. Unfortunately, KFC put the price up to £10.99 and the advert was shelved

4. "Let's Dance! Put on your red shoes and dance the blues" sang David Bowie in his 1983 hit. For those people who could not afford a colour TV licence, the song was broadcast as "Put on your grey shoes and dance the slightly different greys"

5. Who says lightning doesn't strike twice? In the same week that David Bowie released his seminal song "Heroes", he found himself trumped by The Stranglers and their new release "No More Heroes". Similarly, The Thin White Duke's move into the world of hardware was frustrated when his marketing campaign for David Bowie-branded nails was swamped by that for Unibond's "No More Nails" which launched on the same day

6. Bowie's tenth studio album Station To Station was entirely conceived, written and recorded on the Circle Line of London's Underground network

7. Born David Jones, he famously changed his stage name to Bowie to avoid confusion with Davy Jones of The Monkees. Years later, the Pirates of the Caribbean film series were forced to change the name of the villainous David Bowie, captain of the Flying Dutchman in the Dead Man's Chest sequel, to Davy Jones to avoid confusion with the singer

8. The film Labyrinth is actually a finely-observed fly-on-the-wall documentary detailing Bowie's life in the year 1986, a time when he was wearing a spaniel on his head and suffering Laughing Gnome flashbacks

9. Bowie's 1970 song "The Man Who Sold the World" is an autobiographical account of an encounter with an American tourist in central London, in which the singer raised enough money for a slap-up meal in an Aberdeen Steak House

10. Despite having a top ten hit with the song "The Jean Genie", Bowie had never been a man to openly wear jeans in public, going as far as posing as a transvestite for several years rather than succumb to Fa-fa-fa-fa-fashion. Ironically, he's a huge fan of Jeggings these days

11. Towards the end of the 1980s, David Bowie tried his hand at stand-up comedy. However, his "But Seriously, Moonlight" tour died on its arse

12. David Bowie's pet dog is called Iggy. Iggy Pup
Some Bonus BOWIE FACTS that you might have seen before:

13. Obsessed with 1970s politics, David Bowie named his 1980 album after his idol: Scary Monsters (and Edward Heath)

14. Following his outing as a junkie in the David Bowie song Ashes to Ashes, NASA are to hold an internal inquiry to find out how and why Major Tom was allowed to pilot a space craft knowing full well that he was under the influence of drugs
That's enough Bowie

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