- I was employed for a short while as a live-in bee-keeper. I gave it up because of the No Smoking rule, which just made the bees angry.- I got a job as a paper boy. But I blew away
- My job as a personal trainer didn't work out
- I quit my job as mowing lawns, because the money just wasn't cutting it
- I had a job as a nude model, but I hated the uniform
- I worked for a while burying the dead at the local cemetery, but I just didn't dig it
- I gave up my job as a lumberjack because I slaughtered all my colleagues with a chainsaw and disposed of their bodies through the wood-chipper in a delightful shower of red
No, wait. That's not a joke.
19 comments:
I heard you had a job as a human cannonball, but got fired.
No, that's Fargo.
I lost my job carrying bags at the railway station, but it's OK, they hired me again. I became a reporter.
This is all very Milton Jones, isn't it?
Shirley it's removing lobsters from Jane Mansfield's bum?
I wanted to work as a miner, but I'm 42.
I used to work in the local colliery, but I found it was the pits.
Disillusioned, I gave up working for a few years and became a heroin addict. That was a real shot in the arm.
Hey Scary, I heard you started your career at the BBC in the Met Office forecast department, holding up the charts for Michael Fish. In those days you were always under the weather.
I tried out as an apprentice in a door factory, fitting the brassware. It was a job which I found I just couldn't handle.
Have you ever been sacked for sleeping on the job? I have. It was a good job too; chief taster at the Horlicks factory.
I got an award for my work as a farmer. It was for being outstanding in my field.
When I was a student, I got a summer job as a lift attendant. It had it's ups and downs.
Colonoscopy is much the same as any other career. You start at the bottom and work your way up.
I finally landed my dream job as manager of a coconut oil plantation. I had to grease a few palms though.
I went after a contract to do some local roofing work for Network Rail, but they told me it was a bit above my station.
Time for TRT to have a lie down, methinks.
I was once a hairdresser. I didn't quite make the cut.
I went to the dentist yesterday. He told me that during the night a duck had broken in and made a nest on his instrument tray. Needless to say it left me a little down in the mouth.
When I desperately needed a job a few years ago, a friend gave me some work attaching ropes to maritime flotation devices. It was a lifeline.
I was once a spy. Decided to give something else a shot.
Of course the worst jobs are those where you get no thanks, no recognition, no credit at all... Like writing Keith Chegwin's jokes.
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