Have you seen the TRAVESTY of a new advert for Specsavers? HAVE YOU? Quite apart from the fact that it does not feature my car, there is one aspect that has got enormously on my tits. Letter.
Dear Specsavers,That certainly told them.
Congratulations on your new "Should have gone to Specsavers" campaign. Granted it's not as brilliant as the one with the little old lady driving the awesome Nissan Micra (which cost me £400 to get through the MoT after the shock absorbers gave up, I'll have you know), it is quite certainly a landmark in television advertising.
Unfortunately, you should brace yourself for what is technically known as a "shitstorm" from people like me. You know: Sad letter-writing pedants with nothing better to do with their lives.
You see, as any fool knows (but clearly you do not) pilots will NEVER attempt to land on an aircraft carrier from the bow end of the ship. That's the front, if you're a lubber, and I think you probably are. This is because they run the risk of missing the landing deck, getting run down by 100,000 tons of nuclear-powered awesome and getting completely KILLED TO DEATH and/or stopped the £20m for a new Harrier out of their wages.
I think the pilot in your advert [JOKE ALERT!] should have gone to Specsavers!!!!
UPDATE: I have received a reply from those damn fine people at Specsavers, whose eyesite is incredible thanks to their range of excellent products.
While they'd rather I didn't reproduce their emil in its entirety, I am entitled to tell you that those responsible for this OUTRAGE have been put completely TO DEATH in an amusing and ironic manner, and let that be an end to this hideous affair. Well played, I say.