Several months ago, and like a damn fool, I signed up for LinkedIn, the social media website for business types and occasional arseholes looking to expand their circle of contacts.After a couple of days, it rapidly became clear that LinkedIn wasn't for me, so I did what has already happened to millions of social media accounts all over the world: I bopped it over the dead like an unwanted kitten and left it at the side of the road like so much carrion.
But LinkedIn was having none of it. Like a spurned lover, they kept dropping me emails on a daily basis, reminding me that I still had an account with them, and would I - by any chance - want to make contact with this alluring list of members? Now. Or we kill this puppy.
Enough. Instead of leaving my account inactive, I went back, set my email notifications to "No emails" and then, in a fit of pique, deleted the account altogether whilst saying "You're Fired!" in a Lord Sugar voice.
And did the emails stop? No, they did not. If anything, I was now getting at least two a day, asking if I knew somebody I was trying desperately to ignore, and perhaps I'd like to come and log in to my account? You know, the one that doesn't exist any more. Or we kill this puppy, and a cute squirrel we found.
Now, I know at least one other person who has had the same problem, so I won't beat about the bush. I won't even write them an enraged letter, because it might make them think that I still care. So instead, I will just say this:
Seriously, LinkedIn: Just fuck off.
That is all.
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