"So," she said, "What's your favourite TV programme?"To be honest, I didn't really have one, but I was getting on like a house on fire with Debbie, and if cards were played right, there was every chance of red-hot hand-up-the-jumper action, with the further prospect of hand-up-her-jumper to follow.
"I'll tell you what I don't like, though" I said, for I am often very clear at what gets my goat.
"Oh, yes?" she said sweetly.
"Dangermouse."
"Mmm?"
"Dangermouse. What. A. Load. Of. Crap. No stories. Crap animation. Stupidest theme tune. I'd set the cat on the bastard."
She got up.
She left.
She did not say goodbye.
There would be no hand-up-the-jumper. Not tonight. Not ever.
The next day at college, her best friend collared me in the sixth floor corridor.
"What have you done to Debbie, you twat? She LOVES Dangermouse."
"Buh..."
"And don't try to apologise. She's never going to talk to you AGAIN."
She was as good as her word.
Debbie, it turned out, was also a member of the Bracknell College Fraggle Rock Fanclub.
Damn you, David Jason. Damn you to HELL.
You know who else has only one eye? Nick Griffin. Q E bloody D.
24 comments:
Ah, Fraggle Rock...
I used to crawl in from the pub on a Friday night, collapse on the bed and turn on the TV and promptly pass out (room spinning was optional), then get woken up by those bloody dozers (?) singing the theme song.
No wonder I'm the person I am today - still could've been worse, I could've turned into a gooner ;)
Second for not having sex with Alistair.
What are your feelings about Blakes 7?
I love both of these, used to watch them both when I was a kid. Although I must say Fraggle Rock is better in my opinion. The Dozers were the small creatures who were constantly building a glass scaffolding that the Fraggles ate.
And Gordon Brown. Or Baron von Greenback, as he is sometimes known.
BTW. You MUPPET. Still, imagine if you'd have married her. Conjugal rights underneath a Penfold duvet... crumbs.
What a muppet.
I've said this before, but I'll say it again. I went to college with the son of the creator of Dangermouse. This fact (a) did not make him the most popular kid in school, and (b) may, I now realise, possibly be behind his success at shagging the gorgeous & fluffy pull-overed Paula, whom I spent a frustrated two years sitting next to in chemistry and completely failed to get-off with.
Aw cripes DM ... do you think DM and his faithfull sidekick, Penfold were romantically linked?
p.s. I was always more of a Pinky and the Brain man myself.
Squeaky: Are you pondering what I'm pondering?
Dangermouse: Second best kids programme evah (after Tiswas). Some inspired jokes like
"What's your name?"
"*ack*"
"Czechoslovakian eh?"
Download it here, make it your windows startup sound.
/hides from duck.
I had the reverse of this. I was wearing a Dangermouse t-shirt a few years ago (I know, you hate me know). It was the logo with just the letters; DM.
Anyway, this very attractive looking girl sits next to me on the train while I'm wearing it and with a smile say's:
"Cool. You like Depeche Mode too."
"No. It's Danger Mouse." I said.
The attractive looking girl didn't bother carrying the conversation on after that.
Have you got a thing about people with only one eye? Racist!
I've got my eye on you. . . .
I remember fraggle rock. I don't remember a dangermouse. This must be either because I am frightfully old - or 'Merkan.
My brother had a dangermouse duvet cover till he got married.
Tzonar
@ Invader Stu, a dangermouse t-shirt would attract me alot more than a Depeche Mode t-shirt.
And I reckon they should make double duvet covers with retro childrens programmes on them, just cos we want a big bed we don't get fun covers.... unfair!
One eye = G.Brown also. It's a plot.
I think so, Brain. But me and Pippy Longstocking? I mean, what would the children look like?
DM: It's a Canaletto!
Penfold: Ooooh, I love canaletto!
DM: I didn't know you were an art-lover Penfold.
Penfold: It's the tomato sauce I like.
DM: That's canalloni
Penfold: I think you'll find it's a Michael Angelo.
DM: No it's not, it's Colonel K.
What's not to love?
Good mirth, well done.
I likes DM. I have a DM t-shirt, much like Invader Stu. I got a wink from a man on the tube. I didn't wear it much after that.
Also: I hope your new found fame (part two) won't gone to your head duckuss. The first story in the B3ta newsletter? Featured in the Metro? You really have hit the big time (again).
Oh and:
Down in Fraggle Rock
Grab a Fraggle by the cock
Swing it round your head
Look at that, he's dead!
Then you get some more
Slam their bollocks in the door
Let 'em feel the pain
Do it all again
If that doesn't work,
Chain one to a firework
Send it to the sky
Watch the Fraggle die!
Grab another one
Stick a chainsaw up his bum
Turn the power on
Now the Fraggle's gone!
Having fun in Fraggle Rock.
You know how Nick Griffin lost that eye? He told a girl called Debbie he thought Dangermouse was shit...
I'm as "frightfully" old as Sewmouse; this means I saw "Crystal Tipps and Alistair" first time around. We all know who "Alstair" is these days but who's "Crystal Tipps" (Check out CTAA on You Tube).
okay pumpkin pie spice of that is so nice. It really takes brains! But leave it up to the mirth and woe or whatever, here it goes HELLO! mAYBE TRYING A CASONAOVA TYPE GUY WHO MAY GIVE YOU THE WORD UP, now I do mean a real reckless don Juan. Whi knows try HeathLedger he may give you all over there some insights, or don't. Whatever, pepe le flee.
Singing out with such wit and such glee.
Now if I can only learn HOW TO SPELL! bYE BYE BYE BYE . YA GET THE DRIFT, ITAKE IT!
@ Scaryduck - my commiserations
@ Invader Stu - my commiserations
@ Confused said - my commiserations
Worst cartoon? Hercules.The animation was not only bad, but fairly non-existent. The characters would move slightly whilst the background scenery would play on a loop behind them.
Nuet, the half-boy,half-horse, and undoubtedly Hercules boy-toy (who was in fact,hung like a horse), would get captured by the bad guy, and Nuet would scream in his girly voice " Herc! Herc! it's Dedalus, Herc! It's Dedalus!"
Where upon ol' Herc would put a ring on his finger and shout to one of the gods (Zues?) and kick badly animated ass.
If you haven't seen it, count yourself fortunate.
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