Wednesday, October 21, 2009

On making movies

On making movies

I understand the top movie studios are in talks to bring a number of well-known children's TV programmes to the big screen.

No, I say. Stop it now.

I would rather gouge my eyes out with a spoon than sit in front of a ninety minute episode of Dangermouse, for Dangermouse is full of FAIL and the top of a very slippery slope to anger, despair and The Dark Side.

Ditto Bananaman, Super Ted and - bloody hell - Fireman Sam.

There is only one children's programme for which I'd pay actual cash money to see in a full-length feature, and it is this:

Electric Blue Peter

There's no plot to speak of, just two hours of Konnie Huq trying to get her fridge repaired. By John Noakes and Peter Purves.

Then, Janet Ellis turns up to borrow a cup of sugar and Shep is absolutely no use at all...

For the colonial readers: Mr Rogers filthy filthy something filthy

Edit: Megan Washington unmasked as shameless Portuguese dwarf tickler

I LOLed. I LOLed out loud.

26 comments:

Anonymous said...

you sick sick sick sick duckuss

Aunty Brenda said...

Personally I'd like to see Ringo Starr narrating the biopic on a man adept at the fine art of self love.
It could be called Thomas the W +++carrier lost+++

m08k said...

Magic round about! Balls to them.

Debster said...

Do you need to increase the dosage?

Audrey said...

Jamie & The Magic Torch starring David Hasslehoff.

It's not pr0n, I know, but it'd make a wonderful movie.

Vicus Scurra said...

Basil's Brush.

Westengland said...

Somebody posted a draft of the shooting script for "Electric Blue Peter" on a closed site. I've been able to get this extract:

"...Konnie's dress falls off and Richard Bacon accidentally drops his Magic Powder over her nipples, he and Jamie Theakston can only remove it by inhaling it up their nostrils, meanwhile Katy Hill..."

(Unfortunately, at this point, there appears to be some fluid spilled on the script - does anybody have access to other parts of it?).

Confused said...

Konnie Huq: Yes.

But Dangermouse: also Yes. (But in a different way. Penfold however, is an entirely different matter)

I am shocked - SHOCKED! - that you disparage DM in such a way. How could you possibly let Baron Greenback win?

Invader_Stu said...

Awwww... I loved Danger Mouse as a kid but I agree a movie would be a terrible idea

Scaryduck said...

Wake up SHEEPLE! Dangermouse is a pawn of ZaNu LieBORE in an attempt by GORDON CLOWN to control your minds!

Yup, time to increase the dosage.

Erin said...

Increase/decrease - one or the other.

I'm thinking the Friendly Giant or Mr. Dressup might work. But not Romper Room. Although I suspect that Rusty and Jerome from Friendly Giant might already be appearing as Flight of the Conchords.

Astropoppet said...

what about Finger Mouse? did that get a mention? or would that be pr0n?

Richard said...

My dad used to tell me about Muffin the Mule. I think your idea has been done.

Squeakypony said...

And the Oscar goes to ... Hong Kong Phooey the movie ( Rosemary the telephone operator gives the Great Hong Kong Phooey a ring in the filing cabinet )

p.s. Scary - breaking news: Megan Washington has been exposed on national TV as a notorious dwarf tickler.

Anonymous said...

Get down Shep!

Anonymous said...

Skippy the bush kangaroo.
*snerk*

Pseudonymph said...

I've posted it, Squeaky. Too funny not to let everyone in on the hilarity.

WrathofDawn said...

Who's Megan Washington?

Scaryduck said...

Wrathston: Google is ur friend

Brennig said...

I had that Konnie Huq in the back of me cab once.

WrathofDawn said...

Meh. It's getting so you need a translation guide around here.

Lord Andrew Of Goulding said...

@Brennig.

Was that had Konnie Huq or "had" Konnie Huq?

Brennig said...

@Lord Andrew Of Goulding : Shhh. Tell no-one. Wink.

p.s. I don't have a cab. *sob*

Sigg3 said...

I like the picture!

Lord Andrew Of Goulding said...

@ Brennig

Perhaps she'll give you a huq (or something that sounds like that!)

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