On Dorset FACTS, again

On Dorset FACTS, again

And here were go again: Another half-a-dozen FACTS to celebrate something something Olympics something Dorset something.

They said they wanted a lasting legacy for the 2012, and here it is, clogging up Google search results for years to come.

FACT! Readers who have been amused or annoyed by the small boy in the television advert who says "I want to have a poo at Paul's house!" may be interested to learn that Paul lives in Prince Charles's picturesque Dorset village of Poundbury, where his house boasts the luxury of an inside toilet.

FACT! Weymouth is rightly proud of its royal connection to King George III, who was mad enough to holiday in the resort on many occasions. But now, it can claim links to a different King – the town boasts the highest concentration of Elvis tribute acts outside Las Vegas.

FACT! Popular tourist attraction Abbotsbury Swannery remains at the forefront of scientific inquiry with the publication of its long-awaited peer-reviewed paper in the British Medical Journal entitled "On the discovery of how many flaps of a swan's wing it takes to break a man's arm". After trials involving hundreds of student volunteers, it has come to the following conclusion: One.

FACT! Dorset writer Thomas Hardy, like many other talented authors, augmented his low income by penning content for popular magazines. Readers unfamiliar with his literary classic "Far from the Madding Crowd", which chronicled the author's days as a noted football hooligan, may already have read his classic "Dear Fiesta, I never thought I had a chance with the hot divorcee next door until the day she…"

FACT! Whilst Weymouth is famed as the port where the Black Death entered England in the 14th Century, the county's Bournemouth Airport is now recognised as the first point of entry for the equally deadly Chlamydia, brought into the United Kingdom in a pair of crusty boxer shorts belonging to a holiday-maker returning from an 18-30 "All you can screw" break in the Balearics.

FACT! In an effort to keep up with the times, Dorset's most famous coastal attraction has accepted a multi-million dollar internet sponsorship deal and will henceforth be known as "LOLworth Cove". Tourists will be able to see the site from the air by paying for a ride in the ROFLcopter.

There are many, many other FACTS about Dorset, which I am certain will come to light in future days. Some of them might even be true.

A call for content: Friday's Tale of Mirth and Woe is a return to the Old School, featuring crushed genitals and sick inna hedge. To mark this auspicious occassion, I am making a call for sentences which I shall try to insert - seamlessly - into the tale.

What, I ask, could possibily go wrong?