I love charity shops, and have found myself that one elusive store which actually stocks the kind of books I like to read and the music that I like to hear. But I fear for them. By taking this brave stand, they are breaking The Laws of Charity Shops which all such establishments must obey lest they have their lease terminated and turned into a pound store.Or worse: A tanning salon.
The Laws of Charity Shops are clear, and there are no exceptions:
- One copy of Every Loser Wins by Nick Berry (7" vinyl)Legislation is being rushed through parliament as we speak to include the book "Fifty Shades of Grey" on the above list. We shall keep you posted*
- At least one All Saints and one Daniel O'Donnell CD
- CD box set of The Very Best of Fifties Rock'n'Roll
- Coronation Street "never broadcast" exclusive set in Africa / the Med / Blackpool on VHS
- The entire canon of Jeremy Clarkson books (unread)
- Any book by Dan Brown that isn't The Da Vinci Code
- A china storage jar shaped like a chicken
- A Wasgij
- Fifteen boxes (minimum) of dolls house furniture
- On trying on any item of clothing, the customer is required to ask "Did anybody die wearing this?"
- Seedy looking man eyeing up the lingerie rack from the other side of the shop, waiting for all other customers to leave
*No we won't
8 comments:
However many wine glasses are displayed, no two must match
Stuffed Teddy Bear in Jeremy Clarkson corner
Pair of Boots binoculars
Wine glasses: YES
A half-deaf, slightly dusty old lady who yells "do you want a bag with that, love?" before producting from under the counter a Rumbelows bag with one perished handle.
There must be a copy of 'Jaws' in the book section. If there is a vinyl section there must be a copy of 'Frampton Comes Alive!'.
The shop should have a slightly damp and musty air to it even if it has been all done out to look posher than it is!
At least one hand written sign taped to a cocktail cabinet or plastic-coated-wire corner plant stand, sign reading "This item not for sale." Because otherwise, where would they display their collection of heavy glazed ceramic 70s soup bowls with a single stumpy handle?
I am this man; - Seedy looking man eyeing up the lingerie rack from the other side of the shop, waiting for all other customers to leave.
My friend used to run a charity shop and she told me a lot of trannies shop there, so your man eyeing up lingerie is apt
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