To That London to see how my new pals in the British Olympic Team are getting on in their HQ situated next door to the fuck-off huge M&S at Westfield Shopping Centre. They are doing fine, they tell will, and will NOT be abusing their 9th floor position up above the walkways leading to the Olympic Park to take pot-shots at the knees of their rivals. This is mainly because a) We are firm believers in the Olympic ideal of "May the best man win" and will not stoop to such low tricks, and b) You can't open the windows.
Arriving early, I head into this cathedral of the retail experience for a spot of lunch, and immediately fall foul of worshippers praising the Gods of Shop in the only way they know how: By stopping dead in their tracks in front of me for no reason at all.
But this is all for nought when I enter the food court and clap eyes on the Lord High Priest of Shop - one that had died and come back again in a triumphant second coming - SPUD-U-LIKE.
Sing from the roof tops! SPUD-U-LIKE!Yes, they've updated their menu to cater for ponces, so you can get pesto and sun-dried tomatoes on your potato, but the old standards are still very much in evidence: Formica, gravel, and the tormented souls of the recently deceased.
I had a Starbucks and fled.
Let's hear it for Spud-U-Like, everybody! SPUD-U-MELON-FARMING-AUNT-TOUCHING-COUSIN-LICKING-LIKE!
Other root vegetable-based takeway food outlets are available
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