To Lloyds TSB to pick up a cash advance for a business trip. I present my credentials, and after the cashier told me to put them away, I then showed her the piece of paper telling me my currency was available in this very branch."Bear with me."
"You'd better be careful. Bears are dangerous."
"Pardon, sir?"
"Nothing."
Several minutes passed as she checked her computer screen and a large ring-binder, as a lengthening queue of customers snaked out of the door. Eventually, she returned to the counter empty-handed.
"I'm sorry, sir - we've received the paperwork from your organisation, but the notes haven't arrived yet."
Let me just put one crucial piece of evidence in front of the jury: The currency I was after was this --- Her Majesty's Pounds Sterling.
"But... But..." I say, the spectre of a wasted trip looming up before me like Jack the Ripper over a doomed Shoreditch slattern, "You've got whole DRAWERS of money. And possibly a few bob put aside in the safe."
"Yes. Yes we have," said the cashier invoking the memory of Captain Mainwaring," But none of it is YOUR money. Come back this afternoon when we get our foreign currency delivered."
"But..."
"After one-thirty."
"But..."
"Next, please."
Got help us if there's a war.
4 comments:
I dun a "lolly" ....
Years ago I visited the Halifax to ask if I could set up internet banking in such a fashion that I could also access my children's accounts. No I was told, but why I asked? We can't let you do that because you might use your children's money as your own money.
You think I might steal from my own children? Well you might!
Ok then says I, as signatory on all their accounts as they are aged 8,6 and 4 I would like to close all their accounts.
Where do you want us to put all their money says they? Transfer it all into my current account please. OK says they! The irony of that action was completely lost on them!
Weirdcat, you were prevented from laundering your money into their non-tax paying accounts, which was illegal (that's what I was told 20 odd years ago). As soon as you transferred that money back you had to pay tax on it. Ever so slightly pwned.
Eurgh. Now you've got me worried about obtaining sackloads of Thai Baht for a trip in October... I'd better start now I guess.
Or just buy the stuff at the kiosk in the airport, which probably has rates only slightly worse than our fine Canadian chartered banks.
Also, not speaking of which, but you might like them anyway - owls:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/ricardipus/sets/72157630903840366/
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