Official Notice for Your Safety and Guidance
"In the event of a fire in this building, please do not use the elevators.
"I mean - for the love of God - have you not learned anything from Towering Inferno?
"On the discovery of a fire, make every attempt to put out the flames. DO NOT Call the fire brigade, as this will only increase our insurance premiums.
"However, if some plank should activate the fire alarm, please evacuate the building using the stairs, death slide, or the Scaryduck Labs Building Evacuation Catapault.
"Executive staff: Please make your way to the roof and use the jet packs provided.
"Staff Assembly Point: Spearmint Rhino."