Another one that made it onto the Danny Baker Show. I'm *such* a media whore.Some years ago I was working for the government out in the Far East. I ended up staying for a week on the US Air Force base on the Japanese island of Okinawa.
This looked a cushy little number right up to the moment I tried to get hold of something to eat --- I piled up my tray in the canteen and walked to the till.
"What's your social security number?" asked the girl on the till.
I told her. My British one, and her eyes lit up with the words "Does not compute."
"Sorry sir," she said, the word 'sir' telling me all I need to know, "We can't serve you without a valid US social security number."
I went back to the boss and told him of my ordeal, and he gave me a fake number on the spot on the proviso that I be American for the week.
I balked, but the alternative being starved amongst the *cough* well-built US servicemen, I caved in.
"And I'm making you a captain in the Air Force" he said by way of a bonus.
Nobody has told me I no longer hold this rank, so as far as I'm concerned I still am a captain in the US Air Force. In fact, I think after ten years, I'm due a promotion.
8 comments:
being starved amongst the *cough* well-built US servicemen
Well there you finally admit that you were checking out their trouser weapons. As we all suspected, Bum Bandit at 1 o'clock, Captain.
And then you were sick-inna-plane.
I, for one, welcome our fake SSN'd Air Force Captain overlords!
Sick-at-mach-3?
Fourth for Field Marshal Scary.
Were you causing "General Confusion" or just a "Major Inconvenience."
Oh what fun we could have if you'd share your fake SSN. Tax time is fast approaching and I think with a little creativity we could claim a number of dependents/exemptions.
Might even turn a profit!
You should put in for a Purple Heart - for all the times you've been sick-inna-hedge.
You might get away with Captain Scaryduck but General Scaryduck just sounds ridiculous!
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