Our pals at the Speak Your Brains website have prodded me towards the website of a gentleman who is very active on discussion boards around the net. People might call him eccentric - or worse - but I prefer to think of him as an enlightened visionary.Pioneering inventor of Economy 7, the man whose personal intervention ended the Cold War, opinion former and medical theorist, our man postulates that his Kadir-Buxton Method can cure the nation's myriad mental health problems at a saving of £100bn. Per year. Wow.
And Andrew Kadir-Buxton's method is - as far as I can see - this:
- Stand facing the patientAccording to the inventor, this cure also works for Alzheimer's (which he claims is a loss of IQ linked with curable mania that can be addressed to a good punch in the head), and muggers.
- Clench fists
- Aim for a point just below the ears
- Beat them unconscious
- When the patient comes round, you will find that he is cured
As far as I can tell from his informative website, he is absolutely serious in his claims and is not a nutter at all.
And who – I ask – can argue with this calibre of research into the heart-rending problem of fertility?
"All [fallopian tube] blockages that I have found have been dead bacteria, or sometimes lemonade which is a result of a country wide practice of lesbians at Universities."
Tell me more about these lesbian students. This is a branch of science that has been criminally under-funded.
The cure, our man says, appears to be a practice known as "fisting". Whatever that is, but I am sure that there are lemonade-drinking students who are able to provide an explanation.
Alas for medical science, Mr Kadir-Buxton is yet to find a psychiatrist or medical practitioner who is willing to subject his claims to the rigours of peer review.
It was sitting in a long, frustrating meeting just the other day that I realised that I AM THE MAN FOR THIS JOB.
The list of names I was compiling were - it dawned on me - not people marked for death the moment I find myself in a middle management position with access to firearms, but a list of potential subjects to take part in Kadir-Buxton Method medical trials.
And the law says they have to sign consent forms first. Where's the justice?
21 comments:
"Lemonade-drinking Fisting Teen Lesbians."
Yeah, I've seen it a couple of times. What's it to you?
Increase ones IQ by studying and analysing Mr Spock.
And the fertility issues? Not once does he mention HAVING SEX which helped immensely when I wanted to get pregnant.
Warning* do not read the contents of his website with a cup of coffee which may or may not be snorted over your keyboard as you discover his amazing cures and treatments.
Me thinks his day job in the IT department asking people "have you tried turning it off and on again" may have spilled over into his amateur psychiatric practice.
p.s. So that's why lesbians play golf. If they played any sport with lots of jumping around there would be fizzing flatulent fountains everywhere.
and the cure for homosexuality? a dose of economy-7-up?
Where do I apply for the lemonade lesbian research job?
Hence the expression which has passed into lesbian parlance, "You've Schwepped me of my feet!"
He also advocates Post Sex and arm wrestling cripples.
http://www.kadir-buxton.com/page14.htm
He must also have female genitalia as he seems to know a lot about menstrual cramps. Ick.
As for yourself, once you *do* have the consent forms signed...
There is a further section where he says he can revive the dead by stamping hard on their chests.
It's literally car crash interesting. You know you shouldn't look, but.....
Not surprisingly, he advocates car crashes as a method of gardening. Just select which trees need lopping, rev up the car, and Bob's your aunty's live in lover.
I have just googled Lemonade-drinking Fisting Teen Lesbians & ScaryDuck is only the 2nd hit. I think the 1st's in Finnish, the lucky buggers.
Moving on, I volunteer to give Magret Thatcher a good hard fist to the lower jaw. If it cures her Altzheimer's, good, then we can put on on trial for something & if not, well, I'll just have to keep hitting her won't I?
What's more, I bet she'll sign waiver slip disguised as a request for an autograph.
German T
I took up fisting once. I didn't like it, but I just wanted to enlarge my friends circle.
/coat.
Every time I hear the words "clinical studies" these days I practically pee myself laughing...
I have been intrigued by the Kadir-Buxton nasal J Arthur for the laydees. So that's what they're doing into their hankies.
I'm having a bit of a Monday & therefore I feel the need to be vernacular & blunt...
Man, this guy is a fucking lunatic. I wonder how many convictions he has for assault?
As for "Economy 7", I always wondered who's shit idea that was. The first 1 bedroom flat I lived in had E7 underfloor heating. Toasty in the morning, but freezing by the time I got home from work & no way of using it on "normal" power. Cost a fortune too, so the "economy" part of it was bollocks. My energy bill went right down when I moved & was heating a 3 bedroom house with gas central heating.
Reading on:
- fisting his girlfriend into fertility?
- curing an MI by stamping on the patient?
Christ all-fucking-mighty, I'd like to try all of these on him.
Wanker.
...is it Tuesday yet? :)
As for his theory in infertility and blocked tubes, I'd love to see what some of our patients would do to him if they got their hands or feet on him.
If his theories were correct he'd never have to worry about an MI.
Almost, isolator42, almost.
Dear Mr. The Duck - This thread useless without (more) pictures.
Dawn - in this case, perhaps not.
Oi! Hands of our nuuter - we saw him first!
http://yacf.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=22623.0
Mind you, have you seen www.sarahjanenewbury.com?
I'm-a-tryin'-to-give-it-up-but-it's-one-of-those-nights...
He can't be real. surely? as for Ms Newbury, the fact that her hymen's intact means nothing. There's always trap two...
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