New Poet Laureate Carol Ann Duffy wrote a poem about poor, dead David Beckham's ruptured Achilles Tendon, being the kind on calamity that brings this once-proud nation to its knees.Naturally, it's the kind of poncy classical allegory that doesn't even rhyme you'd come to expect from these wallahs who have never in their lives directed a chant of "You're going home in a Red Cross ambulance" toward the opposing team's elderly season ticket holders.
So - having experienced Wembley Stadium's legendary river of piss and the jolly old welcome you expect on away trips to northern grounds, I wrote one from the heart:
Ode to David Beckham's Foot-Knack
David Beckham gave his foes the willies
But now he's ruptured his Achilles
England's World Cup chances are in the dock
Thanks to Beckham's foot
And John Terry's cock.
Have at that, Duffy.
12 comments:
Rik was a better peoples poet
He was a poet but didnt know it.
May I call you Keats?
Yes.
What's a keat?
I was wondering the other day, when Her Maj finally karks it, who gets to write the new National Anthem?
I think I have an answer now.
Carol Ann Duffy better watch out.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Becks just wants to retire,
Very soon to be David Who....?
I volunteer to chnage the word "Queen" for the word "King" in the national anthem & for no extra money I'll change the female personal pronouns to male 1s too & 'cos I'm a patriotic sort of a bloke i'll do it just for the Royalities.
So, onto footie then.
There once was a football player called Becks,
Over whose world cup performances there seemed to be a hex,
At penalties he was crap,
But still he got a cap,
Indeed the whole performence was 1 to vex.
G(i)T
Apparently there are no daffodils in the Lake District as yet. I suspect they are all blooming in Wyke though.
I've just found out that Duffy's old dad was a genuine football manager, so I take back everything I said about her not knowing anything about footie.
Her pome's still poncy, though.
LOL @ Richard.
Astonishing.
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