Another day, another industry event which has snuck up behind me, clobbered me over the head and dragged me aboard like a pressed man into the Royal Navy. Only without all the rum, sodomy and whatnot."And welcome - all of you - to this conference and networking event. We DO hope your day will be an enjoyable one.
"We'll kick-off with the usual ice-breaking exercise so we can all get to know one another."
Oh joy.
"So, if you'd be so kind as to leave by the fire door, go down to the lake and jump in.
"It's been a bit chilly overnight, so please try not to die.
"Any questions?"
We have no questions. I am the only delegate to return.
After that, there are many, many questions.
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