Yeah, I've been on another motivational course. Great way to catch up on sleep."So – you want to manage your staff effectively.
"But what do you do when you encounter problems? How – for example – do you handle a colleague that is consistently late for work without good reason?
"The solution, of course, is to undertake a simple process which steers them toward accepting desired outcomes as a result of their behaviour.
"Luckily, there's an easy-to-remember acronym that you should follow in this very circumstance.
"Avoid Confrontation By Telling The Lollygaggers To Get A Grip, There Being Plenty Of Space For Another Grave Behind The Despatch Office
"ACBTTLTGAGTBPOSFAGBTDO. Get ACBTTLTGAGTBPOSFAGBTDO into your daily routine, and you'll never have staff problems again.
"Unless, of course, it's a girl, and it should be ACBTTLTGAGTBPOSFAGBTDOS.
"The S standing for 'sweetlips' as per accepted norms.
"Remember: ACBTTLTGAGTBPOSFAGBTDO. You know it makes sense."
11 comments:
First for positively influencing staff.
If you know what I mean.
Second for being up way too early.
I think you need a holiday, so you can catch up on your sleep without having to sign up for another of these courses.
Turd.
Fourth for management bolloxtalk and other motivational things
http://www.themotorreport.com.au/50087/dont-be-a-dickhead-new-vicroads-online-campaign-targets-young-drivers
Here's to perfecting the open eyed sleep mode for staff meetings
Donna - get those glasses with eyes painted on the lenses. Works every time
Perfect timing. It would appear my boss has to have 'that' conversation with my probably soon-to-be-shortlived replacement. Details at 11. Or when I get around to blogging them.
Example? Had a 'car accident'. Although it would appear that the traffic police now offer cuts and colours with a complimentary blow dry along with their 'crash' investigations.
"The beating shall continue until morale improves"
And let's not forget:
"You don't have to be mad to work here: BUT IT HELPS!!!"
kill, kill kill them off with words of guilt. you are late. therefore u must die.
here lies the soul of heath ledger, finally at long last he will rest in peace.
he grew infineately tired of white collar ways.
the end. until once again.
Incredible! ACBTTLTGAGTBPOSFAGBTDO has greatly improved our organization's efficiency. You've saved us a bundle.
Thanks,
The Don
Sicily, Italy
Post a Comment