On Egg. Ped Egg
To the shops and a present for my charming wife – one of those Ped Egg things they've been advertising on the electric television.
Just the thing if you've got square feet and need something to file off the edges without drawing blood and bleeding all over the house.
And what a present! The finest As-seen-on-TV JML precision engineering – nothing says "No offence, darling, but you've got square feet" quite like it.
You could tell she was pleased with my thoughtful gift by the way she said nothing at all, and ran, sobbing tears of joy, to our bedroom, joyfully slamming the door behind her.
And my reward. What a reward!
My favourite dinner – a specially-prepared Spaghetti Bolognaise.
With lashings and lashings of freshly-grated parmesan.
Om nom nom, and indeed, nom.