CRIMINALS: Banned from driving? A space-hopper makes an ideal portable getaway vehicle for acts of suburban petty theft.R Biggs, London
HOUSEWIVES: Always spread drawing pins on your garden path in case you are attacked by fiends on space-hoppers.
V. Lynn, Dover
CRIMINALS: If you are embarking on a space hopper-based crime spree, be sure to invest in a decent puncture repair kit. Alternatively, one of TV personality Jordan's used breast implants makes a handy spare in case of unexpected bursting when being pursued by the local constabulary.
R Biggs, HMP Wakefield
POLICE OFFICERS: Gauge the level of crime activity on your beat by demanding sales figures for space hoppers from your local branch of Argos. Round up the equivalent number of crims, and - Hey Presto! No more crime!
S Holmes, Baker Street
12 comments:
Don't change your trousers simply because you have run out of pockets. Extra pockets can be created by suspending socks from belt-loops.
Make your shoes last 20% longer by increasing your stride one fifth.
A big fat turd.
Does anybody know if your can get space hopper detectors for home burglar alarms?
CRIMINALS: Try coating your space hoppers with fibreglass, thus ensuring that punctures are a thing of the past.
SCUFFERS: Stop the influx of Fibreglass covered space hopper related robberies by attaching small flame throwers to the wheels of the fuzzmobile, and then just overtake the perpetrators and hey presto, easy arrests.
Or maybe it's just time to move...
Convicted criminals - to avoid 'unfortunate attention' in jail, be sure to remain seated on your space hopper during shower time... and keep a tight grip on the one remaining handle with BOTH hands!
thieves: increase your chances of a clean space-hopper getaway by first robbing all local stores of their supplies of drawing pins.
ARGOS! Avoid having a brick thrown through your window by refusing to tell the police how many space-hoppers you have sold recently.
Buster Gonad, Fulchester
http://www.forafters.co.uk/index.php?app=gbu&ns=prodshow&ref=Space-Hopper-With-Vibrator&sid=1lllp312f6u31gx42oy6xc46n60b0w5d
For all the girly robbers out there ;-)
THAT'S a space hopper?
I expected something bigger, as the actress said to the bishop.
Oh! My head is aching!
See yah!
Cathy Young
http://sexyhollywoodcelebritiespictures.blogspot.com/
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