On my favourite subject, again
Yes, my life has been entirely taken over by meetings.
There are even meetings which have the sole purpose of deciding on the agenda for future meetings.
However, I have learned to enjoy these events, which I no longer see as a complete waste of time, but are now an opportunity to decide who lives and who goes against the wall when I come to rule a meetingless world.
The two worst words you can hear in any meeting – I have discovered – particularly a long, dull one in which a circular argument has gone round enough times to bring you to the verge of particularly violent murder are these:
"Yeah, but..." – two words that add hours, days to meetings
"Yeah, but..." – two words that are exhausting my alibis with the Thames Valley Serious Crime Squad as colleague find – through no fault of mine – themselves on the "martyred but not forgotten" board
"Yeah, but..." is costing me a fortune in pickaxe handles, tin baths and sacks of quicklime
"Yeah, but…" is forcing me to find another run-down industrial estate to dispose of my martyred-but-not-forgotten former colleagues
People – why can't we avoid all this violent, sticky "Yeah, but..." unpleasantness and all get along? On my terms, naturally.
See also: "We need to take this offline and schedule another meeting to discuss this", for this is just another road to HELL and PAINFUL DEATH