The other week, I was preparing lunch in our communal kitchen (twinned with Manila Municipal Tip) when I had a bit of an accident with somebody's pork products.As I reached into the packed fridge for my tub of 'I Can't Believe It's Not Buttocks' – clearly marked with the words 'Beware of the Leopard' to deter gangs of food thieves – I dislodged a number of precariously-balanced items, which toppled to the floor with a splat.
The antique yoghurts were fine, as was the plastic container full of salad that was busily evolving into a higher life form. But it was what I found at the bottom of the pile, tumbling out of its shoddy packaging, that has led to my trouser-dampening quandary.
And the question I ask is this:
Was I right to apply the Five-Second Rule to the three slices of ham that left a damp, greasy ring on the floor of the kitchen?Degree of Difficulty: I have watched my colleagues in the days since the incident. None have died complaining of an ill-advised lunch of hairy ham sandwiches.
Tomato Ketchup sandwiches - The Food of Gods.
21 comments:
First for 'I Can't Believe It's Not Botulism'
Adds to the flavour I say.
Do all the bugs add extra calories?
I sppose any resultting brown laser would sort that out.
Does the five second rule count when its not your food?
The question to ask is did YOU have any?
Depends. This 'greasy ring' you mention. Was it still there two days later?
Gone = floors get regularly and thoroughly cleaned and therefore nothing to worry about.
Still There = oh dear.
Another important factor is how many steps there are between the kitchen and the building's letterbox, which I can only imagine is surrounded with the poo of well meaning - but poorly aiming - amateurs.
With everything that's in ham, I'd be more concerned about the long-term health of the kitchen floor.
Same here Aunty Brenda. It will surely have high blood pressure now
I agree with Aunty Brenda. The five second rule doesn't usually apply to meat products, but all the crap that's in processed meat probably means you're not going to be found out. I think.
Good luck. And how's the antique yoghurt doing?
Five second rule?
If it's good enough for the deli counter at Tesco, it's good enough for me.
Also, as a gesture of goodwill, you should leave a "please help yourself" tubberware container of shaved parmesan in the communal fridge.
Five second rule always works and just think, whatever germs they get (that hasn't killed them) will only help build up their immune systems! :-)
I don't think the 5 second rule applies in this case, because a) it's not your food and b) as long as no one else saw it happen, it didn't happen
I make a point of never letting anyone have an accident with my pork. Some things are just not done.
"Tubberware"?
Notes to protect your lunch from food thieves? Worry no more:
http://www.savagechickens.com/2009/09/protect-your-lunch.html
Yes, Tubberware. You KNOW what we mean.
Not only would it add calories, but also much-needed protein AND a crunchy goodness.
When I was at college in Rochester I had a flatmate who worked in a local diner. Apparently the 5 second rule didn't apply to their bins when they'd run out of lettuce
I misread the tomato ketchup sandwiches as the Food of Goats. I thought for a moment you were plugging. Bang goes my ego.
did you apply the 'how clean was the floor' multiplier to the 5 second rule?
Yes. "Tubberware". From back in the days when this blog was funny.
I'm impressed that the three second rule has evolved to five. The rings on the floor are just a distraction.
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