In these days of global terrorism and the continuing recession, it's easy to forget the simple things in life, such as neglecting to execute a mob contract on H from Steps, made to look like a run-of-the-mill death by bizarre space-hopper accident.Needless to say, I might well fit the 90's Welsh pop sensation into my busy schedule. However, readers might be interested to know how poor, dead H from Steps has shaped our modern lives:
- Tragic pop star H from Steps turned to a life in the entertainment industry after being put up for adoption by his Secret Service parents "M" and "Q". He has never met his twin brother LL Cool J and has no idea of his successful music career.
- In his native Welsh language, H from Steps is known as "H from Steps, isn't it?"
- After winning his copyright case, every time you use the letter "H", you must pay H from Steps 0.0000000001p. To get around this, web users are encouraged to use |-| instead. Up yours, |-| from Steps!
- H from Steps prides himself on being the first celebrity to take the official Big Bus tour of Jordan's chuff. Unimpressed, he successfully asked for his money back.
- Less than two weeks after the deadly 9/11 terror attacks, H from Steps took part in the promotion of the band's latest single, a cover of the Bee Gees' "Chain Reaction". Coincidence, or a warning to Al Qaeda of the forthcoming invasion of Afghanistan?
- H from Steps is the only man in the western world to know the current whereabouts of public enemy Osama bin Laden, having been whisked to his secret bunker somewhere in +++CARRIER LOST+++ for a personal performance of hit single "One for Sorrow"
- One of the few pop stars to invest his fortune wisely, H from Steps has already paid for his final resting place:
- A pronunciation guide: The 'H' is silent- H from Steps lost both his thumbs in a bizarre space-hopper accident on the set of Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. Forced to clutch objects like a small, flightless bird in a zoo, H from Steps has turned to the only career path open to him: posing as a small, flightless bird in a zoo.
- Before he found fame as H from Steps, H from Steps went round the celebrity circuit as Ken from Bros. Earlier this year he became a YouTube hit as the ugly one from Susan Boyle.
Poor, dead H from Steps - we salute you.
17 comments:
First!
(But I am currently in Australia and therefore standing on my head to view the screen.)
Shame on you for knowing anything at all about Steps.
Aitch. Or, for those schooled in Australia after 2000, Haitch.
*shudders*
We demand a bonus fact.
And without 'H' you would have sick-inna-edge, and Bono would have twatted you for it.
It's also a little known fact that H from steps was also supposed to play Rimmer in the famous Sci-fi show Red Dwarf. Sadly, because he was not avalanche the best they could do was get the stand in act to wear the letter H on his fore-head.
'Poor, dead H from Steps - we salute you.'
Isn't saluting someone a little bit too JFK jnr? Could we not, instead, do a coordinated little dance in the style of Steps?
You should post this on noticings. You'll get points!
Pseudonymph - you mean dance on his grave? I'll race ya.
And "forced to clutch objects like a small, flightless bird in a zoo" was excellent.
Oooh. I thought of another one. Added to the article.
Done an LOL @ Audrey...
Those Space |-|oppers should come with some sort of health warning.
( so should this blog )
p.s. Scary, Scary, quite contrary, how does your garden grow?
There was an online flash game once called something like 'Slap H from Steps', but I can't seem to find it now.
If I look to one side of the piccy and concentrate, I can convince myself it's a picture of Ann Robinson. Coincidence?
I think he looks exactly like the actor known as Owen Wilson, don't you all, though too!?! Oh by the way does anyone out there in la la land oops I mean cyberspace know of the whereaqbouts of Heath Ledger, the sometimes dead and then not dead actor of the new milleniumn. It makes ya wonder what were we thinking in this century that was totally whacked out different, but scary than other centuries of our now-defunct past lives and past deaths. Cherrios and everthing else. I am open to a heathledger ahunting, specially at night, after midnight hours of course what else. Hi ya to Scaryduckie! bye now, all.
We have both Aitches and Haitches here. We lose the |-| in 'olyrood and pick hit up in H'Avondale.
I still don't know who poor dead H is/was or what/who Steps is/was.
This blog is beginning to need a thingy what tells you what's going on.
Three cheers for small flightless birds. Not named H.
"You could say I'm nob-cheese mad." [citation needed]
Heehee-citation- hee hee!
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