On getting new hobbies that aren't sad in any way at all
I've got a new hobby*.
A hobby that keeps me off the streets, and fills the long, empty hours of my existence.
It also has useful applications, in that I could save £££s in the months ahead:
"It's a dildo"
"A knitted dildo?"
"Yes. Yes it is."
"Have you …err… got a receipt for it?"
"No, because I MADE IT MYSELF."
Christmas is going to be EXCELLENT this year.
* This statement, and the entire subsequent post, may contain traces of LIE for comedic purposes