I've got a new hobby*. A hobby that keeps me off the streets, and fills the long, empty hours of my existence.
It also has useful applications, in that I could save £££s in the months ahead:
"What's that?"
"It's a dildo"
"A knitted dildo?"
"Yes. Yes it is."
"Have you …err… got a receipt for it?"
"No, because I MADE IT MYSELF."
Christmas is going to be EXCELLENT this year.
* This statement, and the entire subsequent post, may contain traces of LIE for comedic purposes
19 comments:
What do you use it for? Because if you've already used it for the bleeding obvious, I think you should give it a wash. Now.
Pubic knits.
Ewww.
Though I am not a girly, and therefore not an expert in these matters ... I'm pretty sure that "internal carpet burns" would be a BAD thing.
Now you are just getting weird. What have knitted rabbits got to do with perversions involving vegetables?
Hmmm, a floppy dildo - I don't think that will catch on somehow.
Debster: Did Harry Hill die in vain?
damn, you've outdone me - I've been crocheting eyeballs with optic nerves and trying to work out how to crochet a brain.
I never thought to go with more external organs
Harry Hill? Fight!!!
"What's up Doc?"
p.s. "I knew I shoulda taken that left toin at Albuquerque."
I suppose it might depend on the wool used...No, it probably woudn't. Or shouldn't.
Why don't you just knit sweaters/jumpers and make cash that way? Do you really want to become 'that creepy Mr. Scary who lives at the end of the street, knitting ineffectual sexual aids"?
Scary: It's true, you're not mad.
You're way, way beyond mad, and rapidly heading towards the nice, soft room wearing a 'cuddle jacket'.
Would you like some of my medikashun?
Perhaps knitting a stylish dildo cover would be better? I'd search Etsy to see if someone else has already had the idea but I'm too scared to.
Perhaps it's my age but I'm having a great deal of trouble getting my head round some of the concepts/activities possibly involved here. I'm also afraid to mention some of those concepts/activities in case I a) appear woefully ignorant b) appear dreadfully perverted.
Hold on, where's the "This time next year Rodders" to go with this?
You could always knit yourself a womb if you really, really wanted.
A KNIT dildo? Don't lets be silly. You must crochet a dildo, as ane fule no.
Also, don't forget the clockwork bits.
I fear you and Rodders might not obtain the expected results with this one, Scary.
Must be like having a baby! Just leave a piece of loose yarn for the umbilical cord. Killin' it!
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