I've got a new hobby*. A hobby that keeps me off the streets, and fills the long, empty hours of my existence.
It also has useful applications, in that I could save £££s in the months ahead:
"What's that?"
"It's a dildo"
"A knitted dildo?"
"Yes. Yes it is."
"Have you …err… got a receipt for it?"
"No, because I MADE IT MYSELF."
Christmas is going to be EXCELLENT this year.
* This statement, and the entire subsequent post, may contain traces of LIE for comedic purposes
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