Our Royal Family. God bless 'em and everything they stand for. You know: Shitloads of money, huge castles and the right to have us all killed completely TO DEATH and have first dibs on your still twitching genitals.But did you know...? (Value of FACTS may go down as well as up)
10. Queen Victoria did all her own stunt work, including her infamous rocket-powered flight down the Windsor Castle death slide, which resulted in her death
9. Charles Windsor's official title is HRH The Prince of Whales, on account of his enormous penis, and his catchphrase of "Thar She Blows" heard from a Buckingham Palace upstairs window just as he's about to have sexy time with Camilla
8. Queen Victoria had a secret double life in circus freak shows due to her ability to cling to the ceiling by the vacuum of her own buttocks
7. Her Majesty the Queen (Winner: Playboy Hot Royal 1957) is kept in a leather suitcase and sent by DHL to all official engagements as part of a money-saving exercise
6. Queen Victoria coined the word 'spacker' in 1858 in a tirade where she also referred to Prime Minister Lord Palmerston as 'a complete and utter div'
5. As part of their vows in their 1947 wedding ceremony at Westminster Abbey, the then Princess Elizabeth promised never to get Prince Philip wet, nor to feed him after midnight
4. Queen Victoria's final wish was to be fired out of a cannon up Kaiser Wilhelm II's arse whilst wearing his spiked helmet. The ceremony is repeated every year in Hamburg Docks by HRH Prince Edward
3. Prince Charles has abandoned years of multi-million pound scientific research and has realised there is no way he can stop Camilla turning into a horse. Instead, he will now recruit a jockey to enter her at next year's Royal Ascot. Should make interesting TV viewing, then.
2. The first ever cock-punch was administered by Queen Victoria on an over-eager Lord Palmerston, as an alternative to the Victoria Cross. The current Queen still administers cock-punches to all her Prime Ministers, with Margaret Thatcher having received the most
1. Thanks to centuries of inbreeding amongst Europe's royal families, it has been revealed that Princess Anne is her own brother, cousin and several of her mother's Corgis
Bonus FACT: When holidaying at Balmoral, Prince Charles employs a highly-trained, highly-paid former SAS footman to ensure that nothing is worn under the kilt
Please add more Royal FACTS
27 comments:
Queen Pseudonymph the First!
Are they ever going to get a) jobs or b) a grip on reality?
Excellent facts Scary ( you do have documentation to prove that you're not mad, don't you?). Just be careful if you ever end up driving around Paris - they have form you know.
p.s. Yea for twitching genitals.
p.p.s. Squeakypony II bows to your Royal Highness Queen Pseudonymph the Furst.
Arise, Sir Squeaky, however in this case, it would appear that Scary is actually mad. The ones in which he isn't actually mad are labelled I am not mad.
Wow how does he find these things out? Its amazing!
Debster: Through l33t FACT sk1llz
Prince Philip believes that he rules Sweden. No one has ever bothered to correct him.
The phrase 'fire in the hole' was first uttered by Prince Andrew, on his honeymoon with Sarah Ferguson.
Princess Eugenie is a champion stoat-juggler, but is far too well-bred to boast about it.
Whilst the VIP Jet parking slot is right outside the terminal building at RAF Lyneham. Prince Charles insists that when he arrives the plane parks away from the building..........Why ????......... He doesn't like people looking down on his bald head..... 100% Fact
Prince William is using Kate Middleton as a front to gain public approval - until he's king and ditches her for the true love of his life, Amy Winehouse.
Another fact:
The Queen (ER as opposed to Queen Pseudonymph) always has a penny in her handbag. In case she wants to spend a penny.
Yes another fact:
The Queen had ER put after her name as Phil The Greek calls her " ER indoors".
No 4 is wrong: ON Prince Edward.
HRH Prince Harry is the undefeated champ of the Royal all-in James Hewitt lookalike competition, held every year on the anniversary of his mum's death.
It wasn't the fact that Mrs Simpson was a divorcee that put a spanner in Royal works, more that she was incapable of concieving an heir to the thrown as she was born male.
GT
Er, thrown? FFS - throne...
GT
110% of FACT, The Queen Mother had Tourette's and, to save any embarrassment, her voice box was surgically replaced with a radio linked "speech box". Her voice was supplied by Mike Yarwood amongst others. In 1999, the unit was upgraded and replaced with a digitally enhanced version, to the delight of her footmen who, during much of the 80's and 90's, were spuriously running 'pick-ups from Paddington Station' due to an illegal minicab company operating from behind a kebab shop is Albermarle Street.
The Queen has coprophilia, and starred in a german poop porno named "Royal Flush".
The Queen Mother actually died many years ago and was replaced by a remote control robot, which had the antenna in the veil on the hat. That is why every single photo of the Queen Mum shows the hat with the veil. FACT.
When King Charles ascends to the throne, it will become LAW to talk to, and take the advice of, plants and garden vegetables.
Non-observance of this LAW is punishable by being placed in the vegetable stocks for a first offence, with any subsequent breaches punished by a new take on an old favourite - being hanged, peeled and quartered.
Camilla is actually a secret agent from Lithuania, specialising in explosives and knives.
Greek Phil isn't actually Greek, but from that community of pseudo-Greeks from East London. He used to run a kebab house, before seeing to the Queen's Doner with extra chilli sauce personally.
Oh my. I'm not going to hear about you lot getting beheaded for all this, am I?
Makes me glad I'm waaaay over here, laughing quietly...
Empress Erin
You're still part of the Commonwealth, so you're fair game missy.
Brenda,
In these times of economic adversity, one should make reference to the Commonpoverty.
We aren't fair game, y'know. QEII signed us over to Pierre "Fuddle duddle" Trudeau in 1982.
We still let them visit from time to time, if only to let Camilla run in the Canadian Triple Crown races.
The rumour that Woodbine Race Track (site of The Queen's Plate 1st race in the triple crown) is named after HM's fav fags is toally untrue.
They were the QM's brand.
@ Uncle Audrey: Commonpoverty. WIN!
Uncle Auds, I stand by Common Wealth. May be Common Poverty where you lot are - just exactly how much does the RF cost to run per year, and what is the return on investment??
@Dawn: done an LOL @ Camilla running in the Canadian Triple Crown races...
Prince Charles formed 'The Irish Indoor Hang Gliding Club' as a tribute to Eamon McOrton, the tallest leprechaun in the world.
Nice information provided by you.
You are doing very well job! keep it up.
免費a片 a片 免費av 色情影片 情色 情色網 色情網站 色情 成人網成人圖片成人影片 18成人 av av女優avav女優性情慾 走光 做愛 sex H漫 情色 情趣用品 情色 a片 a片 成人網站 成人影片 情趣用品 情趣用品アダルトアダルト アダルトサイト アダルトサイト 情趣用品
補正下着
Post a Comment